So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
