I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
