omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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