Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
