She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Randomize
