I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
