Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
