he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
