there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize