OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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