just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
