Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
