I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
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