Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
