Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
