I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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