Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Randomize
