Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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