I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
