am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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