Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
