We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
