It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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