Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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