is your mom at the bar?
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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