i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
