why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
