Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
