the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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