I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
