You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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