FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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