She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Randomize
