So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
