Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
