beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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