its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
