I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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