you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
