There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize