Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
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