If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
So squirting runs in the family.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
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