I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Randomize
