The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
23 People Confess Why They Don’t Talk To Their Best Friend Anymore
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going