Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass