so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
