She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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