hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
