I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
