Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
