i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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