Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
