Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
