ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
