i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
