you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
