We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
