im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize