I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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