I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize