does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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