I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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