I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
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