So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
