ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
