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if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
