Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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