its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
