My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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